The Quiet Work of Becoming

A companion post to Wonder & Wander, Episode 6

I was not an athletic kid.

Coordination showed up late for me — college, honestly. So the day I bought an Apple Watch and decided to start exercising wasn't a small thing. It was me stepping into unfamiliar territory and deciding to show up anyway.

But the bigger thing wasn't the Apple Watch. It was what happened underneath the big decision, in the small daily repetition of actually doing it.

What the Quiet Work Taught Me

Every day I showed up and moved my body, I learned something. Not about fitness. About myself.

I learned what I was capable of when I stopped assuming I already knew. I learned that my body wasn't the enemy — it was a part of me I'd been ignoring, maybe even resenting, for a long time.

And slowly, in those unremarkable daily moments that nobody else saw, something started to shift. I started to find something I hadn't found before: love and acceptance for myself. Yoga, which had previously been villainize in my life, became an instrument of love and personal connection.

The Quiet Hatred Men Carry

I think a lot of men live with a quiet hatred for themselves. For their bodies. For their behaviors. For their thoughts and feelings. Frankly, society has taught us to hate men too. So what do we do? We turn that hatred upon ourselves.

Sometimes it doesn't usually look like hatred. It looks like avoidance. Numbing. The voice in your head that says you're too much or not enough. The way you push past pain because acknowledging it feels weak.

That hatred takes a toll. It collects interest. And most of us don't even realize we're paying it.

Showing Up Is the Work

The becoming isn't in the dramatic moments. It's in the days nobody's watching — including yourself.

It's showing up when you don't feel like it. It's choosing yourself in small ways, over and over, until the choice starts to feel like who you are. Let me be frank, choosing yourself doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being selfish. It just feels that way because it is foreign to you.

I wish I'd started caring for myself sooner. That's my honest regret. But I'm here now. And here is a pretty good place to start.

A Question to Sit With

Where in your life have you been waiting for the right moment to start showing up for yourself? What would one small act of that look like today?

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Listen to Episode 6 of Wonder & Wander on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and follow the show so you never miss a conversation around the fire.